In America, greeting rituals can vary by region. I live in the South, where the typical greeting ritual goes like this:
Southerner1: Hey!
Southerner2: Hey!
S1: How are you?
S2: Just fine! How are you?
S1: Just fine, thanks! So how are you?
S2: Well, you know, Dad's in the hospital again...
S1: Aww, no!
etc.
The first greeting is usually "Hey" which calls attention. "Hello" is usually used for the telephone, or for greeting strangers.
S1: Hello, may I have a few minutes of your time?
This is more polite than a stranger saying:
S1: Hey, can I have a few minutes of your time? (this would seem incredibly intrusive.)
The first "how are you?" is a source of great confusion for foreigners, who often reserve that question for when they really have time to answer. Sometimes we ask this first "how are you?" without even wanting to know anything real. When I teach foreigners English, I teach them that the answer to the first "How are you" is "fine" and the answer to the second "So, how are you?" is a real answer.
In the same way, Arabs have their own, somewhat confusing greeting rituals, often with 3 layers, just as this American Southern greeting is, although sometimes with 4 or even 5 layers.
Layer 1:
Among Muslims
Like it or not, the Muslim faith is integrally tied into the Arab language. Non-Muslim Arabs, such as Coptic Christians in Egypt or Druze or Meronite Christians in Syria, resent that Islam is taught alongside the Arabic language. However, these groups represent a small minority of Arabic speakers. The reality is, Islam dominates the culture and language of Arabs.
Among Muslims, the first greeting between yourself and someone you know, is usually a formal, very ritualized greeting. The most common greeting among all Muslims, no matter what language they speak (Urdu, Farsi, Bengali, French, English...) is
as-salaamu 3aleykum "Peace (be) upon you."
The proper answer is:
wa 3aleykum (as)-salaam. "And upon you, peace."
However, in a less formal setting, the first layer may be the non-religious:
SabaaH al-Xeyr. Morning (of) Goodness.
to which the proper answer is:
SabaaH an-nuur. Morning (of) Light.
Or, if it is not morning, but afternoon/evening, the first greeting may be:
masaa' al-Xeyr. Evening (of) Goodness.
to which the proper answer is:
masaa' an-nuur. Evening (of) Light.
However, these can vary colloquially or regionally:
In Syria:
SbaaH el-Xeyr. Morning (of) Goodness. (="Good morning")
answer:
SbaaH el-Xeyraat. "SabaaH al-Xeyr"s! (= "Three "Good morning"s!)
And among non-Muslims, and in situations where you are unsure of someone's religion, such as on an airplane:
marhaba! A Greeting! (="Hello!")
answer:
marhabteyn! Two Greetings! (="Two 'Hellos')!"
Layer 1 greetings are sufficient for interactions between yourself and a police officer, between an airline stewardess and a passenger on a plane, or when asking for directions from a stranger. However, before moving into a friendly conversation, another layer (or two) must be crossed, also in a ritualized way.
Layer 2
Layer 2 greetings are usually non-religious, and usually have the word "Welcome" in them, which sounds strange to English speakers.
ahlaan! Welcome!
The word "ahlaan" is used to welcome you into the presence of the person saying it. This is usually a signal of friendship, somewhat like "Make yourself at home" sounds in English when a guest enters your house. This signals the person being "welcomed" that they can relax, since they are among friends.
Another variant of it is:
ahlaan wa sahlaan! Welcome and Hello!
The proper answer to this verbal friendly "touch" is:
ahlaan biik! (said to a man)
ahlaan biiki! (said to a woman)
ahlaan bikum! (said to a group)
This means literally "Welcomed by you!".
The word "ahlaan" comes from the root a-h-l meaning "extended family" or "kin."
In a business, professional, or religious setting, do not expect to be greeted with "ahlaan/ ahlaan wa sahlaan," since it is a symbol of intimacy.
Layer 3
The third layer of the greeting is where the person who is sitting or greeting you at their door will invite you to sit down with them or come inside their house. This is done with the phrase
tfaDDal (said to a man)
tfaDDalii (said to a woman)
tfaDDaluu (said to a group)
tfaDDal means something like "help yourself," and is used when offering an empty seat, inviting you inside, inviting you to eat sweets they have spread out on their table in their reception room, or handing you a gift.
Now let's go through several different greeting rituals, with different levels of formality, along with the question "How are you?" and its proper answer in each situation.
Greeting Ritual Example 1:
Two Muslim men meet, who do not know each other well.
M1: as-salaamu 3aleykum. Peace be upon you.
M2: wa3aleykum salaam. And upon you, peace.
M1: keyf al-Haal? How is the health?
M2: al-Hamdu lillaa. w-inta? Praise be to God. And you?
M1: al-Hamdu lillaa. Praise be to God.
Greeting Ritual Example 2:
Two Muslim men meet in a coffee house. They are close friends.
muhammad: SabaaH al-Xeyr, ya saamir! Good morning, Saamir!
saamir: SabaaH an-nuur, ya muhammad! Good morning, Muhammad!
muhammad: ahlaan wa sahlaan! "Feel at rest!"
saamir: ahlaan bik, keyf al Hal? "I'm welcome with you! How is health?"
muhammad: al-Hamdu lillaa, ana bi-xeyr. w-inta, keyf Hal-ak? Praise be to God, I am with health. And you, how is health-your?
saamir: hamdi-llaa. Praise God.
muhammad: tfaDDal, ya saamir, tfaDDal, tfaDDal! Sit down, Saamir, sit down, have a seat!
As you can see, the proper answer to "how are you?" is never "I'm sick" or "I have a toothache" but "Praise be to God." This is part of the Muslim mindset of submission to God in all circumstances. "al-hamdu li-llaa" "The praise to-God" is said so often that the phrase is often shortened to an ungrammatical form "al-hamdillaa" or simply "hamdillaa".
Among Arab men who are close friends, it is not uncommon for them to hold hands while walking down the street, engaged in intimate conversation about deep matters of the heart. However, homosexuality is practically non-existent in the Middle East. If an Arab man takes your hand, it in no way implies homosexual feelings, which are taboo, and a sin in Islam!
However, between men and women, Muslim men and women rarely touch each other. Cheek kissing is absolutely out of the question, as is hugging a woman who is not family. Shaking hands is pushing it, and many women would feel uncomfortable if you offered your hand to them. Many men put their hand over their heart and lower their eyes when introduced to a woman. However, this might be the last interaction between the a stranger and that woman, especially if her husband is with her. It is considered a sign of respect for a man not to look at or acknowledge another man's wife when talking with him, even if she is standing right beside him!
Between women:
In most Muslim countries, women are expected to cover their hair in public. Depending on the country, this may be more or less followed. In urban Morocco, which is heavily westernized, it is common to see women dressed like Westerners mixed in with women wearing the full burka which covers their whole body. However, in Saudi Arabia, in some cities women may not show their faces or any part of their body other than their eyes in public.
However, in their homes, with family, women remove the cumbersome burka and wear fashionable clothes. They wear jeans, stylish scarves, blouses, and look nice for each other. The rule is, when a strange man who is not family enters the house, all adult women must cover their hair. So if you are a man, and you are invited to a man's house, don't be surprised to see the women scurrying to find scarves to cover their hair when you walk through the door, as they hastily greet you.
There are certain rules about which men women must cover their hair with. I believe women may have their hair uncovered in the home with their fathers, their husbands, and their sons, but not their nephews or uncles.
Nadya visits her friend 3eysha's home while their husbands are away at work. 3eysha opens the door and sees Nadya standing there.
Nadya: Marhaba, ya 3eysha! Hey, 3eysha!
3eysha: Marhaba, ya Nadya! Salaamu 3aleykum! Hey, Nadya! Peace be with you!
Nadya: wa3leykum salaam! Peace be with you!
3eysha: ahlaan, ahlaan wa sahlaan, tfaDDalii! keyf Hal-ik? "Welcome, be welcomed, please come in! How is your health?"
Nadya (entering the house and taking off her hair covering): hamdillaa, hamdillaa, wa inti ya 3eysha, keyf-ik? Praise God, Praise God. And you, 3eysha, how-you?
3eysha: bi-Xeyr, al-hamdu-lillaa, ahlaan, tfaDDalii! (pointing to a chair) I am with-health, praise be to God, welcome, please have a seat!
Nadya: shukran. Thank you.
Southerner1: Hey!
Southerner2: Hey!
S1: How are you?
S2: Just fine! How are you?
S1: Just fine, thanks! So how are you?
S2: Well, you know, Dad's in the hospital again...
S1: Aww, no!
etc.
The first greeting is usually "Hey" which calls attention. "Hello" is usually used for the telephone, or for greeting strangers.
S1: Hello, may I have a few minutes of your time?
This is more polite than a stranger saying:
S1: Hey, can I have a few minutes of your time? (this would seem incredibly intrusive.)
The first "how are you?" is a source of great confusion for foreigners, who often reserve that question for when they really have time to answer. Sometimes we ask this first "how are you?" without even wanting to know anything real. When I teach foreigners English, I teach them that the answer to the first "How are you" is "fine" and the answer to the second "So, how are you?" is a real answer.
In the same way, Arabs have their own, somewhat confusing greeting rituals, often with 3 layers, just as this American Southern greeting is, although sometimes with 4 or even 5 layers.
Layer 1:
Among Muslims
Like it or not, the Muslim faith is integrally tied into the Arab language. Non-Muslim Arabs, such as Coptic Christians in Egypt or Druze or Meronite Christians in Syria, resent that Islam is taught alongside the Arabic language. However, these groups represent a small minority of Arabic speakers. The reality is, Islam dominates the culture and language of Arabs.
Among Muslims, the first greeting between yourself and someone you know, is usually a formal, very ritualized greeting. The most common greeting among all Muslims, no matter what language they speak (Urdu, Farsi, Bengali, French, English...) is
as-salaamu 3aleykum "Peace (be) upon you."
The proper answer is:
wa 3aleykum (as)-salaam. "And upon you, peace."
However, in a less formal setting, the first layer may be the non-religious:
SabaaH al-Xeyr. Morning (of) Goodness.
to which the proper answer is:
SabaaH an-nuur. Morning (of) Light.
Or, if it is not morning, but afternoon/evening, the first greeting may be:
masaa' al-Xeyr. Evening (of) Goodness.
to which the proper answer is:
masaa' an-nuur. Evening (of) Light.
However, these can vary colloquially or regionally:
In Syria:
SbaaH el-Xeyr. Morning (of) Goodness. (="Good morning")
answer:
SbaaH el-Xeyraat. "SabaaH al-Xeyr"s! (= "Three "Good morning"s!)
And among non-Muslims, and in situations where you are unsure of someone's religion, such as on an airplane:
marhaba! A Greeting! (="Hello!")
answer:
marhabteyn! Two Greetings! (="Two 'Hellos')!"
Layer 1 greetings are sufficient for interactions between yourself and a police officer, between an airline stewardess and a passenger on a plane, or when asking for directions from a stranger. However, before moving into a friendly conversation, another layer (or two) must be crossed, also in a ritualized way.
Layer 2
Layer 2 greetings are usually non-religious, and usually have the word "Welcome" in them, which sounds strange to English speakers.
ahlaan! Welcome!
The word "ahlaan" is used to welcome you into the presence of the person saying it. This is usually a signal of friendship, somewhat like "Make yourself at home" sounds in English when a guest enters your house. This signals the person being "welcomed" that they can relax, since they are among friends.
Another variant of it is:
ahlaan wa sahlaan! Welcome and Hello!
The proper answer to this verbal friendly "touch" is:
ahlaan biik! (said to a man)
ahlaan biiki! (said to a woman)
ahlaan bikum! (said to a group)
This means literally "Welcomed by you!".
The word "ahlaan" comes from the root a-h-l meaning "extended family" or "kin."
In a business, professional, or religious setting, do not expect to be greeted with "ahlaan/ ahlaan wa sahlaan," since it is a symbol of intimacy.
Layer 3
The third layer of the greeting is where the person who is sitting or greeting you at their door will invite you to sit down with them or come inside their house. This is done with the phrase
tfaDDal (said to a man)
tfaDDalii (said to a woman)
tfaDDaluu (said to a group)
tfaDDal means something like "help yourself," and is used when offering an empty seat, inviting you inside, inviting you to eat sweets they have spread out on their table in their reception room, or handing you a gift.
Now let's go through several different greeting rituals, with different levels of formality, along with the question "How are you?" and its proper answer in each situation.
Greeting Ritual Example 1:
Two Muslim men meet, who do not know each other well.
M1: as-salaamu 3aleykum. Peace be upon you.
M2: wa3aleykum salaam. And upon you, peace.
M1: keyf al-Haal? How is the health?
M2: al-Hamdu lillaa. w-inta? Praise be to God. And you?
M1: al-Hamdu lillaa. Praise be to God.
Greeting Ritual Example 2:
Two Muslim men meet in a coffee house. They are close friends.
muhammad: SabaaH al-Xeyr, ya saamir! Good morning, Saamir!
saamir: SabaaH an-nuur, ya muhammad! Good morning, Muhammad!
muhammad: ahlaan wa sahlaan! "Feel at rest!"
saamir: ahlaan bik, keyf al Hal? "I'm welcome with you! How is health?"
muhammad: al-Hamdu lillaa, ana bi-xeyr. w-inta, keyf Hal-ak? Praise be to God, I am with health. And you, how is health-your?
saamir: hamdi-llaa. Praise God.
muhammad: tfaDDal, ya saamir, tfaDDal, tfaDDal! Sit down, Saamir, sit down, have a seat!
As you can see, the proper answer to "how are you?" is never "I'm sick" or "I have a toothache" but "Praise be to God." This is part of the Muslim mindset of submission to God in all circumstances. "al-hamdu li-llaa" "The praise to-God" is said so often that the phrase is often shortened to an ungrammatical form "al-hamdillaa" or simply "hamdillaa".
Among Arab men who are close friends, it is not uncommon for them to hold hands while walking down the street, engaged in intimate conversation about deep matters of the heart. However, homosexuality is practically non-existent in the Middle East. If an Arab man takes your hand, it in no way implies homosexual feelings, which are taboo, and a sin in Islam!
However, between men and women, Muslim men and women rarely touch each other. Cheek kissing is absolutely out of the question, as is hugging a woman who is not family. Shaking hands is pushing it, and many women would feel uncomfortable if you offered your hand to them. Many men put their hand over their heart and lower their eyes when introduced to a woman. However, this might be the last interaction between the a stranger and that woman, especially if her husband is with her. It is considered a sign of respect for a man not to look at or acknowledge another man's wife when talking with him, even if she is standing right beside him!
Between women:
In most Muslim countries, women are expected to cover their hair in public. Depending on the country, this may be more or less followed. In urban Morocco, which is heavily westernized, it is common to see women dressed like Westerners mixed in with women wearing the full burka which covers their whole body. However, in Saudi Arabia, in some cities women may not show their faces or any part of their body other than their eyes in public.
However, in their homes, with family, women remove the cumbersome burka and wear fashionable clothes. They wear jeans, stylish scarves, blouses, and look nice for each other. The rule is, when a strange man who is not family enters the house, all adult women must cover their hair. So if you are a man, and you are invited to a man's house, don't be surprised to see the women scurrying to find scarves to cover their hair when you walk through the door, as they hastily greet you.
There are certain rules about which men women must cover their hair with. I believe women may have their hair uncovered in the home with their fathers, their husbands, and their sons, but not their nephews or uncles.
Nadya visits her friend 3eysha's home while their husbands are away at work. 3eysha opens the door and sees Nadya standing there.
Nadya: Marhaba, ya 3eysha! Hey, 3eysha!
3eysha: Marhaba, ya Nadya! Salaamu 3aleykum! Hey, Nadya! Peace be with you!
Nadya: wa3leykum salaam! Peace be with you!
3eysha: ahlaan, ahlaan wa sahlaan, tfaDDalii! keyf Hal-ik? "Welcome, be welcomed, please come in! How is your health?"
Nadya (entering the house and taking off her hair covering): hamdillaa, hamdillaa, wa inti ya 3eysha, keyf-ik? Praise God, Praise God. And you, 3eysha, how-you?
3eysha: bi-Xeyr, al-hamdu-lillaa, ahlaan, tfaDDalii! (pointing to a chair) I am with-health, praise be to God, welcome, please have a seat!
Nadya: shukran. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment